champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
