Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
