Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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