I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
