Pants 0. Shit 1.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
