so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize