I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
