I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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