The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
