Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize