So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
