I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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