hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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