Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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