somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
