is your mom at the bar?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
