3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize