Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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