i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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