He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
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I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
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I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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