i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize