If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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