Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
