she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
im holly from the hills drunk
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
