i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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