He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
