I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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