I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
