Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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