There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
