? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
