tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
