i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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