I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
