But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize