I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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