also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i dont even know how to be here
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
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My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
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But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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