you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
