He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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