He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
