Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.

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  (901): can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you. http://tfl.nu/uemu
  Replies (10) Good night (3138) Bad night (741)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night

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  (917): you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night http://tfl.nu/accx
  Replies (8) Good night (1182) Bad night (6633)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"

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  (732): im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob" http://tfl.nu/kv4b
  Replies (20) Good night (4469) Bad night (768)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.

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  (940): I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation. http://tfl.nu/xysv
  Replies (9) Good night (821) Bad night (2453)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.

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  (801): He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex. http://tfl.nu/rz6s
  Replies (12) Good night (4192) Bad night (900)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher

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  (401): She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher http://tfl.nu/uenp
  Replies (16) Good night (2272) Bad night (2507)
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  (831): View more from California

  maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick

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  (831): maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick http://tfl.nu/1wa4
  Replies (3) Good night (688) Bad night (1395)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.

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  (307): this is worse than the time i threw up a condom. http://tfl.nu/98sx
  Replies (15) Good night (838) Bad night (4919)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college

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  (303): I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college http://tfl.nu/bc9j
  Replies (7) Good night (2409) Bad night (591)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...

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  (860): on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed... http://tfl.nu/6d23
  Replies (4) Good night (1094) Bad night (389)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.

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  (772): Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid. http://tfl.nu/hte9
  Replies (9) Good night (517) Bad night (1904)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"

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  (705): you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before" http://tfl.nu/z6i7
  Replies (2) Good night (834) Bad night (270)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.

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  (336): Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net. http://tfl.nu/v16i
  Replies (0) Good night (426) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again

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  (814): My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again http://tfl.nu/inh4
  Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (272)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.

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  (515): Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted. http://tfl.nu/i4ke
  Replies (1) Good night (452) Bad night (172)

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