Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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