I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
