Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
