Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
