remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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