I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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