i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize