he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize