Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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