I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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