Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
