Buhtt sex?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
