I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
