Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize