Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
