get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
