it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize