saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
