He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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